If you’re a parent, you may be familiar with the concept of Leaps. They’re phases of growth in babies and young children, as their minds and bodies are rapidly growing and learning. These Leaps are usually accompanied with discomfort for the child, and consequent unusual behaviour.
I believe adults go through Leaps too. Possibly less frequently than babies, and across dimensions far less obvious (unless you’re getting a new tooth anytime soon). But discomfort no less.
As someone returning to full time work after a break, I’ve been seeking ideas and tools to make the transition less scary than it seems. This definitely feels like a Leap for me, as I return to work anew.
Here are some ideas I’ve collected so far, and I think they are relevant for anyone considering a big leap in life:
Idea 1: What matters most
Time is the MOST valuable asset we have. As a working parent with limited family support and help, your to-do list threatens to overwhelm and worse still, obscure your priorities.
In her book, ‘Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less’, Tiffany Dufu lays out a framework. Identify what matters most to you, and then trim your task list using that lens.
How do you identify what matters most? She uses 3 questions to define one’s ultimate priorities –
- Legacy (what do I want people to say about me at my funeral?)
- Gifts (what are my unique gifts i.e., things I do really well?)
- Joy (how do I want to spend my time?)
Once you know what matters most, you can deprioritise, delegate or ignore some of the tasks that could fill your days, taking you away from your real life’s mission. I find that parenting is a journey littered with self-doubt. So having conviction in what you will say NO to, is empowering and efficient.
Idea 2: Tell me about yourself, again.
Recently, a coach asked me ‘how would you introduce yourself to someone who doesn’t know you’. My first sentence was – I’m a mom.
I appreciate that for some people, being a parent is a dominant role in their lives. However, I realise that my choice of introduction was not intentional, rather a knee-jerk response, almost as an explanation for what I am not…anymore.
I tried again. My next attempt at an introduction was more comprehensive, where I highlighted who I really wanted to be known as. And being a mom wasn’t the #1 thing.
So in a big life transition, try scripting your new introduction. It may feel unnatural at first, but may help you reset your identity with intention.
Idea 3: Widen the aperture
I initially approached the return-to-work transition with fear and inner conflict. The fact that I felt anxious about being a mom in a professional setting, is indicative of my worldview on the matter of moms in professional settings.
My attitude towards a thing, is a function of my aperture towards the said thing.
For me to change how I feel, I need to question my perspective. And since it’s only that, a perspective, it is fundamentally shiftable.
I don’t want to be a business professional who believes that moms at work can’t thrive. I want to operate within a different reality. And hence, I can slowly shift my perspective to match that aspiration. How? By observing the world with new eyes. There are countless examples of moms that do thrive at work. I can choose to look at, and learn from, those.
So step 1) become aware of your attitude towards the Leap and 2) question if the perspective that’s driving that attitude is worth holding on to 3) look out for evidence that can shift your perspective
PS – Parent groups, the mom community and life coaches are a gift. If anyone wants to discuss their life transitions, please reach out.
PPS- I haven’t actually returned to work yet. Once I do, I hope I will find even more such gems.
That’s all, folks. Good luck with your Big Leap!
