I have an extended family – there are a lot of uncles and cousins on my side. Everyone loves spending quality time together (especially my cousins), so we have family gatherings for every birthday or anniversary. Sometimes there are random meetups too. My 13-month-old son, Birang, loves family time and meetups as much as I do, but there is a condition – there should be minimal to no interruption to his nap time.
My kid was not a fan of parties initially. He got so fussy and liked to stay away from people most of the time. Gradually, he grew comfortable with my close relatives. At first, we assumed he did not like being around too many people, but we were wrong. It started becoming clear that we were disrupting his sleep schedule, given the timing of the tantrums.
Relatives love to play with little kids. My cousins and aunts want Birang at gatherings more than they would like me. It is funny, but they love holding him and baby-talking him. It was awkward for me to convey the idea that my poor baby needed rest when he would rub his eyes or yawn and ultimately cry, but I figured something out. I decided to stick to his routine unfailingly.
I follow Birang’s meal routine almost religiously and let him take a nap like he does every other day. To avoid making things awkward around family members, I always convey my appreciation for everyone’s love yet reaffirm my need to respect my kid’s sleep time. Usually, I subtly suggest my aunts play with Birang during his playtime or after his nap, and it works. He is the most active and playful after a rest, so it is a win-win.
Handling a kid all by yourself in a gathering can feel demanding. I make sure Birang’s dad and grandmother help with feeding or playing with him. My toddler has his favorite uncle that he loves playing with, so my brother helps too. Having these people around has been a lifesaver.
Most gatherings happen at our place, so we don’t have many issues; Birang can sleep in his room peacefully. When we are in other people’s houses, I make sure he is around a group with familiar faces. I always find a quiet space for him to sleep in. Most importantly, I stay on my toes and watch for any signals of unease or weariness.
